It’s come a long way since the early, innocent days of tending chickens and mild bitching but the juggernaut that is the original reality show lumbers on.

The best thing about the show by far is presenter Emma Willis who manages to communicate genuine enthusiasm for something many feel is tired and old. In this opening show, she trumpeted ‘the biggest shake up in Big Brother history’. What this boiled down to is that there is a second, secret, house in which six malcontents have been placed. Furious that they’re not actual housemates, their job is to try and displace some of their neighbours.

Twelve mostly fresh-faced folk entered the real house, most utterly convinced of their own gorgeousness. While a show like this necessarily attracts its fair share of narcissists, they really seem to have tipped the casting toward the terminally self-obsessed this time. There were a couple of older fellas (whose age wasn’t mentioned) who seem as if they might add a tiny bit of depth to proceedings. Say hello Chelsea, an entrepreneur from Chelsea and Jason, a property developer geezer who also works as a body double. I did say a ‘tiny’ bit…

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