‘There are just millions and millions of reasons why I find Duncan Bannatyne attractive.’ Thus spake Vicky Pattison, some 35 years his junior and several leagues above him in the attractiveness stakes. Would those millions and millions of reasons happen to have the Queen’s head on them Vicky? Maybe we’re just being cynical. After all, the heart wants what the heart wants right? Or perhaps it’s a case of jungle fever finally taking hold.

Lady C endured the ‘Helmets of Hell’ and pronounced the whole process ‘tiresome’ but had enough energy left to flirt shamelessly with both Ant and Dec. These two are pretty cool customers normally but it didn’t take a body language expert to register their total terror at the idea of a threesome with the caustic socialite. We are amused.

Elsewhere an almighty row simmered over the best way to prepare dinner. It would seem that there are very many ways to cook a goat…



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